Ramblings on the Road to Transition

The Genteel Side of Dumpster Diving

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 01:50:48 GMT

I suspect that there are many of us that tend to keep an open eye on trash dumpsters we pass just to see if there is anything there still in useful condition - I'm not talking about going through the trash looking for cans and the like. While there may be some people who do so for recreation, I suspect that most of us would pass on doing so unless it was a matter of survival. Living as I do on the proverbial "poor side of town", it is not uncommon to see people in just that situation and to them go my sympathy. It's a damn hard way to have to live and not what I'm writing about here.

For someone like me who is not above doing a bit of tinkering, fixing up, or simple repairs though the dumpsters are at times a treasure trove of good useful stuff. While I've heard tales of people finding complete computers, TV sets, and the like in working order I suspect that such would be much more likely in the more affluent neighborhoods. Still, that doesn't mean that I haven't found some good stuff time to time. One recent find was an upright canister vacuum cleaner that only needed a new filter cartridge to be back in good, usable condition - cost of new filter about $15 to $20 - a complete new machine is over $100. Then there was the floor lamp that someone tossed because the shade was crunched on one side and it needed a new knob for the on/off dimmer switch. Then there have been a couple of computer monitors - 17" CRT's in full working order - the only thing wrong with them being that they weren't sexy high tech flat panels! Anyone that reads this and wants/needs a monitor has only to come and pick one up. Like puppies - free to a good home.

I guess that in some ways my habit of picking up items from other people's trash comes of being raised by parents who went through the first "Great Depression" in the 1930's and as a result made frugality a way of life. When I was young their frugal ways drove me nuts, but with times as they are some of those habits that I picked up have come back to being "in fashion" - who would have thought it - for once I'm actually trendy!

Enough for now - break time is over and it’s time to get back to work!

Some catching up...

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 01:07:49 GMT

Some catching up here indeed! Since my last entry in late June things have been a zoo around here. For a start, MCCGSL has moved into our new home in the Soulard District in Saint Louis, Mo. We had a "ribbon cutting" ceremony on June 21, 2009 and have been holding our regular Sunday services there. for a story from the St. Louis Post Dispatch on our new home follow this link -

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/religion/story/1570529DB8FE6D26862575DA007E39D8?OpenDocument

For a video of the ribbon cutting and the first service -

http://vimeo.com/5381499

Reverend Carol Trissel's first sermon and some of the story behind our new home -

http://vimeo.com/5381966

There is not much else I can say - it was a day of homecoming and high emotion - one new first time attenders comment in some ways sums it up. "Is it always this loud?" I could only answer that no it wasn't - but given the occasion we were ready to let loose and truly celebrate our finally having a place to call home.

Then there is/was the story of Melissa and finally getting her on her way back to California. All during the last month she was here there were little hints that she was having second thoughts about going back. But her ticket was already bought and she was going - even if I had to carry her on to the train! The biggest milestone on the way was shipping her stuff back via UPS for her to pick up when she got there. On the day she left ( July 20 ) there was an air of a Keystone Cops movie - confusion reigned! But with a couple of minutes to spare she was on the train and I watched it leave with a mixed sense of relief and loss. Relief in getting my privacy back - and a sense of loss for the company that made the house less of an empty space.

We have talked several times since her arrival back home in California. The problems that drove her to leave are still there - at least some of the things she left at her property had been pilfered/stolen and she can't live at her place in Lake County Ca. But for the present at least she has safe quarters with another transwoman - we will have to wait and see how things work out. She has made some noises about coming back here - but was reminded of the conditions on her doing so. First, that she become a Missouri resident so that she can get into the health care/welfare system here. Second, that she was responsible for the transportation costs for herself and her possessions. No tickets will be provided. Cold? Not really - she has to stand on her own for there are no truly free rides in this world. Help or a hand up yes - but no long term free ride.

Last, for anyone interested - I've set up a Facebook page and it is likely that it may get updated more often than this page - if anyone is interested, email or PM me and I'll provide my contact info there.

That's about it for now - I need some sleep before I go to work tomorrow!

And now for something completely different....

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:37:55 GMT

Not to mention totally off the wall!

What do Highlanders do when they get bored with herding sheep? Check out the video for an answer! Get your mind out of the gutter!

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1137883380?bctid=17075685001

On Work, Floods, and a Long Awaited Homecoming...

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:51:14 GMT

Its surprising at times just how fast time off from work goes before you are back at it again - the fact that I usually get only 48 hours off when changing shifts just adds to the problem. In the world of the normal 9 to 5 worker that would seem to be two days right? On my job that more often than not means one full day and parts of two others - not really much chance to catch up on rest and other business. One of the few benefits of the change from first to second shift is having a few free hours in the morning to take care of chores and errands. Not to mention writing the odd post here.

From the looks of the weather reports things are not going to get any easier at work - heavy rains in the last two days mean the river levels will stay up and flow in the plant will stay high - essentially a repeat of the situation last year when we had record rainfall. I hope not as the floods last summer did a lot of harm throughout the upper midwest.

And now to some long awaited good news - after 12+ years in various rental quarters Metropolitan Community Church of Greater St. Louis ( MCCGSL ) will have its first services in our new main sanctuary in a building we own. There will be a ribbon cutting ceremony at 10:00 AM and the first service will be at 10:30. For me this is one of those days when taking a vacation day is a must. It's likely to be a high emotion day for many of us - especially those who have been with the church through the years and seen both the good and the bad times. From the days of having the bills for utilities and the like put up on the door to be adopted and paid by some individual member, to the days when we left St Johns when the building was sold with no idea where we would ultimately end up, to a place that is truly our own. Its been a long and at times bumpy road. But as long as we don't forget where we came from we will continue to grow and prosper. If the other side of the coin were to become the norm - if pride and arrogance should prevail as it has in other places - then we would lose it all. Anyone who has been reading this journal knows of our journey and we would welcome you to join us in a day of celebration. The date is June 21, 2009 and the place is 1919 South Broadway in Saint Louis Mo. starting at 10:00 AM.

On Life, Friends, and the Chicken Little Syndrome

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:10:52 GMT

As usual it has been awhile since I've had the chance to sit down and write anything more that a couple of lines here. To say that things have been hectic is an understatement! As long as the Mississippi stays above flood stage water backing up into local creeks and rivers will continue to leak into the lines that feed the plant.- as a result the the flow rate has been roughly tripple that of a normal dry weather period. The result has been a lot of overtime to keep the plant up and running. My biggest priority outside of work these last few weeks has been sleep.

So far things at home have been working out without too much drama - but if Melissa tries to stay on longer than her scheduled departure in July things could get a little interesting. Problem is that we are starting to annoy each other with our own little quirks - I tend to be quite laid back most of the time - much more along the lines of Oscar in the movie "The Odd Couple" - Melissa is definitely closer to the character Felix in that old movie. Add in that she is a believer in just about any conspiracy theory that you can name - It doesn't matter if it's the Kennedy assassination, UFO's,the Swine Flu, or what have you. Her current fears are that the Flu situation is the result of government plots to test Biological warfare agents and to impose martial law on the country - for what purpose she can't say. I've got a nasty suspicion that some "tough love" might well be necessary when it comes time to ship her stuff and put her on the train for California.

We are all familiar with the story of that character Chicken Little - the little guy who runs around calling "The sky is falling , The sky is falling!". In some respects Melissa's attitude toward the Swine Flu situation has been quite similar. Each report of a minor outbreak somewhere in the world or the World Health Organization raising its status level brings on a fresh round of panic. Now I'll freely admit that she has some cause for concern - since she has had pneumonia in the past any respiratory infection carries the risk of another bout of it - but then I have the same problem. Until there are some confirmed reports of large outbreaks in this country I'm going on a "business as usual" basis. - she's thinking cancel travel plans and stockpile masks and gloves! Who's right? Too soon to call. But my feeling is that this is getting blown well out of proportion. And the continued heavy coverage by the news networks and their "talking heads" ain't helping.

What will I do if there is a major outbreak? For me the answer is pretty simple - I'll continue to go to work on account that for environmental and health reasons the plant can't be shutdown except for very short periods (hours not days) of time. It comes under the heading of vital public service. So the usual routine will prevail.

That's about it for now - Lunch is over and its time to get back to work!

How Raccoon and Beaver Became Friends

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:06:04 GMT

There hasn't been a whole lot of time for writing the last couple of weeks - things have remained crazy at work schedule wise. Still, there have been some odd moments when there has been time to check some of the Transgender discussion boards that I post on from time to time. One has had a thread running on what animal you most closely identify with - for me it was no contest - the Raccoon wins on all counts. So enjoy the tale that follows and perhaps draw a lesson from the wise Raccoon.

Raccoon and Beaver

Raccoon awoke to a beautiful summer morning. He stretched himself and scampered out from his hollow sycamore tree. "What a wonderful day to be alive!" Raccoon said as he went bounding across the meadow. He stopped abruptly to smell a flower. From the corner of his eye, he saw an orange butterfly and went after it. He jumped high in the air but missed the butterfly and landed, thump, on his back. Raccoon just lay there for awhile, blissfully soaking in the summer sun.

Directly, Raccoon got up and went on his way. Stopping in a blackberry thicket, Raccoon picked all the juicy fruit he could eat. He put some more berries in the little pouch he carried on his belt. "These are for later," Raccoon said, "perhaps to share with a friend." Raccoon then left some tobacco, to show his gratitude.

Raccoon ambled on down to the creek, where he knew Beaver would be busy working on his dam. It seemed that dam was never finished. Coming to the edge of the beaver pond, Raccoon dabbled his paws in the water as if trying to catch a minnow. From the corner of his eye, Raccoon was watching Beaver. Beaver was pushing a log across the pond to his dam, completely ignoring Raccoon.

All of a sudden, Raccoon did a complete summersault, landing, splash, in the pond. "Help! help!" Raccoon cried, floundering around on his back in the water. "Help! help! Please save me!" Raccoon called as he floated noisily across the pond.

Beaver was well aware that Raccoon was an expert swimmer. He also knew that Raccoon was always up to some trick or other, in an attempt to get someone to play with him. So, Beaver continued steadfastly pushing the log toward the dam, just as if Raccoon was nowhere around.

Just then Raccoon bumped his head on the end of a log that was protruding from the dam. Raccoon climbed out onto the dam, shook himself and said, "Friend Beaver, your most wonderful, marvelous, magnificent dam has just saved my life!" There was no response from Beaver, who by this time was positioning the log on the inside of the dam. "Beaver, I was drowning. I was surely a goner, but your beautiful and most solidly built dam saved my life!"

There was still no response from Beaver, who was now patting mud around the log to hold it in place. "Beaver, this is an occasion worthy of a celebration! I know of a bee tree, Beaver, so full of honey that the bees are fairly begging for someone to come and take it away. Let's you and me go, Beaver. You can cut down the tree, and we can have a feast of honey. Afterward, I know of a lovely meadow in which you and I can dance a Friendship Dance. Anyone who wants is welcome to join in. What do you say, Beaver?"

"Raccoon," Beaver said. "I have no time to play with you today.

"Beaver," said Raccoon. "All summer I've been watching you. All you do is work on this dam. I've never once seen you run through a meadow or smell a flower or chase a butterfly. I've never even seen you lie belly upwards in the grass, just to soak up the summer sun."

"Raccoon," Beaver said, "I've no time to talk with you now. I must finish my dam. Winter is coming, and where will you be? You will have nothing to eat and no warm place to sleep, for all you do is play."

With that, Raccoon walked sadly away. He puzzled over what Beaver had said. Always he had trusted in Creator for his care. Mother Earth had always provided him with something to eat, and he had his warm, dry, hollow sycamore tree in which to sleep.

"The nerve of that raccoon," Beaver grumbled to himself, "to think I should leave my work to play with him!" Beaver was so intent on his work and on his grumbling that he didn't notice the big black clouds gathering in the west. He didn't notice the thunder and lightning and the heavy rain that was already falling upstream of his little beaver pond. All of a sudden, a flash flood of water came whooshing down the creek, catching up Beaver and flinging him against his precious dam. Beaver and his dam went crashing and tumbling downstream.

Beaver was in a tight fix. His leg was caught between two logs of what had been his dam, and the water was rising. "Help!" Beaver cried. "Please save me!"

As the rain poured down, Raccoon was safe and dry in his hollow sycamore tree. He poked his nose out a hole and stuck his tongue out to catch a stream of water dribbling off a leaf and suddenly heard Beaver's cries for help. Quick as a wink, Raccoon was out running through the driving rain. He found Beaver in the flooding creek, pried up a log and freed his leg. Raccoon then led Beaver back to his hollow sycamore tree where the two shared a feast of, somewhat soggy, blackberries.

So, now if you are very quiet when walking in the woods, you may come across a flowery meadow, peek around a tree and see Raccoon and Beaver dancing a Friendship Dance with honey smeared on their noses. And if you are really quiet, one day when you go down to the creek, you may just see Raccoon helping Beaver to build his dam. And so it is good.

There are many things to learn from Raccoon and Beaver in this story. Raccoon began his day by giving a word of thanksgiving and praise. "What a wonderful day to be alive!" I can imagine raccoon standing outside his little den with his little paws to the sky soaking in the rays of the sun on his face. He had just woken up and had no idea what his day was going to be like. Yet, he began his day with joy, happiness and thanksgiving. Raccoon then bounded off enjoying his life, playing, and relishing his morning in God's creation. How often do we get up in the morning and exclaim with faith that its a good day?

1Timothy 4:4 - Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it.
We may receive it gladly, with thankful hearts.

Try starting your day with a song, prayer or both. This is a traditional form of worship amongst native people. The Cherokee go to a river, creek or stream as the sun is coming up and then pour the cool water over their head as they pray. Beginning the day with thanksgiving, a morning song, and prayer. Many times with hands lifted up to the sky towards our Creator. (We were charismatic long before that movement began-lol) What is important is that you are laying the foundation for how your day will be, based on the words that you speak that morning.

Psalm 69:30 - I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Raccoon then teaches us about taking and giving. We never take something without giving something back. This is one of the first things that our elders teach us as children. When Raccoon gathered the blackberries he left tobacco. Tobaccos is what we use to pray with and is a sacred herb that is never to be used for self gratification. It is an offering unto God and since God provided Raccoon with food he gave the tobacco in exchange for what he had been given. Maybe you don't have tobacco but you have a little bit of time that you can volunteer to your church.

Soon we come to Beaver. Hard working and not wanting to be distracted form his work. Parents listen up! many of us become Beaver sometimes. Too busy working to stop and smell the flowers and to have fun with the little raccoons in our lives. Raccoon teaches the adults how children see us. They don't understand the responsibility that comes with today's world, raising a family, providing food and shelter. They see us working working working while they enjoy life and play. The hurt sets in when we tell them to go away, as if they are bothersome to us. We might even ask them, don't you understand? we have to pay this bill, we have to buy food, we have to make the car payment. No, they do not understand, its hard for them to relate and with their little hearts full of the same joy that Raccoon had they want to see us feel the happiness and joy that they feel out of their love for us.

Mathew 19:14 4Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me. Don't keep them away. The kingdom of heaven belongs to people like them."

Beaver works long and hard at making his dam so he can weather out the storms. He yells at Raccoon for not thinking ahead. Raccoon doesn't understand where Beaver is coming from so he goes away thinking of how The Creator provides for his every need and wondering why Beaver doest realize this.

Psalm 145 15-17 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. 17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.

Beaver is preparing for the future in his mind when all those long hours of toil and labor were lost in an instant. There are many times when we have our nose buried in our labors and we become so short sited that we don't see the storms in the distance. Beaver, although he was working, complained and grumbled. Complaining is the opposite of Praising. I bet if Beaver had been on top of his dam praising instead of complaining Beaver would have seen the storm clouds forming. God gives us warning many times yet we are too engrossed in our lives and what we are doing to see them and recognize them.

Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

Raccoon is sitting in his warm little hollow while the storms rage right in front of him. Is he complaining or grumbling? No, he is sticking his tongue out and catching raindrops from a leaf. Even through the middle of a storm we can still find joy in the smallest thing.

Psalm 10:6 He says to himself, "Nothing will shake me; I'll always be happy and never have trouble."

After a heroic rescue, Raccoon and Beaver share a soggy meal of blackberries. I bet Beaver was glad that Raccoon had thought ahead or he would have been hungry. Not only that, Raccoon was was forgiving the whole time and never once did he bring up what had happened earlier in the day. He didn't rub it in Beavers face or make him feel ashamed for the harsh words that Beaver had spoken to him. Instead he brought him in and shared what little he had. Instead of hurt, hungry, and wet they were now safe and warm in the hollow of Raccoons sycamore tree... . Then later we hear of them dancing together and working together.

Jesus loved all people no matter who they were, where they were from, what they did as a profession, how hard they worked or how hard they played. One day we might be "beaver" stuck in the dam of our own problems that we have created. Be observant and keep an eye out because we never know who might come along. God might be sending "raccoon" to help pull your leg out of the dam.

John 15:12 "Here is my command. Love each other, just as I have loved you.

The funniest thing on the net....

Sun, 24 May 2009 12:54:50 GMT

Saw this piece about the three wolf moon tee shirt on a local TV station site and its too good not to share here. Some of the comments are priceless...

http://www.beloblog.com/KHOU_weirdworld/2009/05/this-may-be-the-funniest-thing.html

Of Life and the Joys of Wrong Numbers...

Fri, 22 May 2009 17:41:23 GMT

It has been awhile since I posted anything here. Seems that finding the right combination of time, energy, and the right conditions for writing has been a rare thing of late. This piece is an example - it was written in Word on my laptop during breaks at work and it took three days to do it! One thing that I won't do from work is post the result though - social networking and on line journal sites are blocked by the IT department and given some of the topics I talk about, posting from work wouldn't be a good idea anyway.

Recently I've really grown to understand just how maddening the business of dealing with tenants and maintaining a large apartment complex can be. Problem is I don't own or work for one! For the last several years though it seems that I get all the wrong number calls for a local apartment complex office. Why? Seems that the prefix for my phone is just one number off the one for the Apartment manager/maintainence office of one. The rest of the number is the same. Since its too much of a pain to change my number how do I cope? A good sense of humor helps as does a voice mail message that reads back my number first thing. Most hang up at that point. Still some people persist in leaving detailed messages asking everything from "Do you take section 8 tenants?" to "Please change the light bulb in my...". The real winners though are the ones who repeatedly call back and can't figure out why they they don't get anywhere. Sometimes the temptation to mess with some of them is overpowering. Plumbing problems, particularly backed up toilets are the most likely to draw light hearted reply. Seems that instructions to sandbag the doors and go swimming while they wait for the plumber just don't seem to be what they were expecting.

Then there is the run of the mill wrong number callers - some are polite and no problem to deal with. Some just refuse to believe that my number isn't their old buddy or girlfriend. At some point these callers will get an off the wall reply - just what depends on the caller and how rude they have been. Depending on my mood I can have a ball with a telemarketer - my personal record for this is upwards of ten minutes before they figure out they are being messed with and hang up.

The last category is collection agencies - I've never had one come after me but that doesn't mean I haven't dealt with them. Usually they will get tired of the machine answering and quit after awhile. Sometimes it is necessary to answer and tell them that so and so doesn't live here and to stop calling. Others are more persistent and can be a real pain. Of particular note are the bill collectors looking for a certain ex room mate - after more than two years you would think that they would give up.

Thats about it for now - more another time.

Of Windows 7, life, and a long delayed project...

Fri, 08 May 2009 02:15:03 GMT

It's been quite awhile since I've had the time or energy to post anything here - just the usual routine of work and finally after surviving another rotation of midnight shift some time off.

Being the computer geek that I am, having Windows 7 RC released was an event worthy of note - I was quite surprised when I was able to download it on the first day it was available. There were reports of Microsoft's servers being slow and/or overloaded but I had no problems with the download which took about 4 hours or so. Have installed it on a spare hard drive on my HP 530 laptop and so far so good - not that I've had the time to play with it much yet. I'll post more when I have had the time to do so.

Life here has been proceeding with no drama here to speak of - my sister went in for what sounds like some pretty major back surgery and is still in the hospital. The current hope that she will be able to go home next week sometime. I've tried calling her but the number that my nephew Rich gave me doesn't appear to be good. Since she is 2100 miles from here a visit is out of the question - I'm going to try to send a card and some flowers and I'll hope to hear from her when she is able.

No problems with the current room mate Melissa so far - we have set her up with a ticket to go back to California in mid July and we are currently trying to figure out how/where to ship her stuff beyond what she can carry on the train.

And now to that long delayed project - several years ago I reworked the house plumbing to be all copper from the water heater to all of the house fixtures. What remained was about 45 feet of old iron pipe supply line in from the city box at the curb. Water pressure was getting to be a problem so I've spent the last couple of days replacing that run of pipe from where it enters the basement. The basement was partitioned many years ago and running the new line through walls and whatnot was a job that I'm glad is over! Par for the course is finding a few leaks when you first turn on the water but I was pleasantly surprised to find only two minor leaks - one easily fixed and the other so minor as to be not worth messing with right away. It's about a drop every 10 to 15 min that may well stop on its own given some time - if not that is what JB Weld is for!

Thats about all that has been going on here - more another time

Bread on the Waters...

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:20:56 GMT

There is an old saying to the effect that if you cast your bread on the water it will be returned to you in some way. It's been almost exactly a month since Melissa moved in and so far this old saying has been proving true. When I originally took Melissa in Rev. Carol at MCCGSL told me that if food costs became an issue that the church would help out. So far that hasn't been necessary. While Melissa's own denomination may have fumbled the ball when she needed to find shelter, one of their churches has made up for it by giving quite generously from their food pantry. Seems every time Melissa comes back from worship on Saturday morning/afternoon ( she is a 7th Day Adventist ) she has brought something back with her. Still I was floored last Saturday when she came back with several cartons/flats worth of groceries - meat, milk, fruit, vegetables and canned goods. Indeed, finding space for it all in the refrigerator and freezer was a challenge - but one that everybody should be so lucky to face! In this case the "bread" (shelter) has indeed been returned in a most welcome way.

Other problems remain to be solved - the big one is getting prescriptions for Melissa's various needs filled. We've gotten some of them but for the rest finding a local doctor that will see her and write the necessary scripts with out a huge fee has been the problem. But something tells me that this problem too will be resolved - hopefully before too much longer. Some calls have been made by Danny at MCCGSL's Hope and Help center and we are hoping to that a clinic that can take her will be found.soon.

One sure sign of spring finally coming is the return of warm weather and outside chores - up to now it has been too cold and rainy to do much. But the coming week is supposed to be sunny and warm - I spent a good chunk of this morning cleaning up piles of leaves and spraying the raised beds with Round Up to prepare them for planting. Tomorrow, I'll remove the remains of last years plants and start prepping for the usual planting of tomatoes, peppers and such. Somewhere in the next few days I'll mow the grass and the yard will then start to look at least minimally taken care of. One change from years past though - at least two of the raised beds will get flowers - the squirrels and raccoons will have to learn to forage elsewhere as there won't be near as much to eat from this garden!

Not much else doing at the moment. - back on 2nd shift so at least the mornings are clear for chores and other important stuff like sleep! More another time.

Time off and a Milestone passed...

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 00:02:30 GMT

It seems that time off lately has been a rare thing here and what there has been has mostly been devoted to catching up on rest and recovering from being on midnights not to mention necessary administrative tasks. Seems the older I get the longer it takes to get back to something resembling normal physically. Still, there is one bit of good news - as of tomorrow when I turn 55 I'll be eligible to retire on one months notice. The good thing about this is that if conditions at work get too intolerable, I can leave with at least a minimal pension and medical benefits - something I couldn't do before and a huge relief stress wise.

Not much has changed in the situation at work - the plant is still in the midst of a major upgrade/expansion. And it looks as if the turnover situation staff wise will continue to be a problem. Seems that as fast as we get someone trained a promotion, transfer, or retirement puts us back right where we started. And with the possibility of having up to five more new hires in the next year it looks as if my days of training newbies will continue for the foreseeable future.

So far things have been working out with Melissa - we are both used to living alone so it has taken some time to get used to another person being around. She has been doing a fair bit of cleaning and we've been sharing the cooking chores. No drama so far - the closest we have come was finding a dentist for Melissa that would take care of tooth gone bad on a walk in basis without charging an outrageous price for doing so.

The other big item has been finding a ticket that Melissa can afford so that she can return to California - the kicker is the amount of stuff that she needs to take with her. From the look of things Amtrak will be the best choice and she found a ticket for mid July at a reasonable price. So, come that day I'll put her on the train for California and go back to living a quiet solo life.

Plans for tomorrow are fairly simple - church in the morning and then home and throw a couple of steaks on the grill - the traditional birthday dinner for me. Then back to work on days Monday to start another cycle - with any luck the weather come next long weekend in a few weeks will be warm and dry enough to make a camping trip to the farm possible.

So that's about it for news from River City - one more day of rest then back to work!

Melissa...

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:50:43 GMT

For some reason it seems that just when I think that things will quiet down and I can get caught up on things like rest and posting here something happens to change my plans. Another constant is that whenever I think that life can't get any more interesting something new gets thrown into the mix. Suffice to say that life is seldom boring these days!

With the above as a sort of a preface, meet Melissa, my new temporary room mate. Melissa first came to the St. Louis area about a month ago from California intending to stay with a friend out in west St. Louis county. Unfortunately for her this arrangement fell through - disastrously so and she ended up staying first at the New Life Evangelistic Center's men's shelter (like me she is MTF trans). Now, as anyone in the trans community can tell you, a men's homeless shelter is not a good place for a trans woman to be. She somehow got in touch with MCCGSL and Rev. Carol Trissel first got her into Karen House ( a women's shelter ) as an interim arrangement and then she called me since I have a history of sheltering the occasional MTF trans person in crisis. And so it came to be that last week while I was on 3 to 11 shift she came down to stay with me for 2 to 3 months to get back on her feet financially ( she receives Social Security Disability ). It took a couple of days to haul her things from Karen House and a small storage locker to here and get her settled in but things are working out so far. It should be an interesting time and as soon as she is able she will be heading back to California. In lieu of rent/board she has volunteered to do some light housekeeping and cooking as a way of helping to pay her way.

So, welcome Melissa - hopefully your stay will be an interesting time for both of us.

More on HRC and ENDA - should they be trusted this time?

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:23:00 GMT

I've written several pieces on the disaster that was HRC's involvement in getting the ENDA legislation passed before - suffice to say that their about face where promises made to the transgender community are concerned did great damage not just to trans inclusion in ENDA but to any chance of the legislation being passed at all. For a look at what I wrote at the time about the whole mess check this link,

http://a-nony-mouse54.livejournal.com/tag/enda

In short it should be obvious that HRC sacrificed any creditability they may have had with the transgender community when they went back on promises made at the Southern Comfort. So, it was with interest and no small amount of skepticism that I read the piece in the link below.

http://www.365gay.com/blog/lowenstein-hrc-belatedly-flips-its-position-on-enda/

HRC will have a very hard time regaining the trust of the transgender community and possibly parts of the larger LGBT community as a whole. In some ways they just don't seem to be able to grasp that their action destroyed what trust the transgender community had in them. Speaking for myself, I would not be inclined to trust them in the future given their past record - if their positions and ours are the same, well and good. But count on them or trust them - no way.

Cross posted to Transgender

One More River to Cross...

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 21:32:03 GMT

When I was growing up and the family went on vacation it always seemed that I was asking "How much further is it?". And the answer was always "Just a little further." The lesson being that a goal is always a little further away or harder to achieve than you think it would or should be. This was brought to mind today as I listened to Rev. Carol give us the news that due to changes in the real estate market that the amount of the loan we need to finish our new home for MCCGSL is more than the current appraised value of the property and that as a result it was uncertain when we would be able to move in. One more challenge on a journey that has already seen us as a church give until it seems that we can give no more. But more is needed. Can we as a church rise to this challenge?

At this point I'm going to digress just a bit - I'm going to use as an example the selection process that the military uses to pick who gets into the training courses to join the elite units - Special Forces, Delta, Seals, etc. The common factor is that they work the the prospective trainees for for days on limited food and little or no sleep. Then when they think that have reached their limits physically and mentally present them one more seemingly insurmountable challenge. Perhaps to individually march another 20, 30 or more miles or as a team move a heavy and awkward object some distance with only their own physical ability and what they can scrounge to work with. The ones who pass and go on are those that rise to the challenge, who don't know the meaning of the word quit. The relavance here is that the same attitude is needed in our situation - if we fail at raising that last bit of money/collateral it becomes uncertain when or if we will ever get to move into our new facility. We have been presented that last (I hope) challenge - are we up to it?

There was a time in our church history when we had so little in the line of resources that the bills for utilities and the like would be tacked up on the front door to be adopted and paid by members of the congregation. Somehow they made it through those times. Speaking for myself only, as Rev. Carol outlined the problem my thoughts were not about if I would rise to this challenge but rather how I would do it. As I have written previously I'm already delaying my retirement in order to contribute from my transition fund to help pay for our new home. And then it came to me, I own free and clear a small tract of land in the Ozarks where I go to camp and chill out when life gets to be more than I can handle. Since collateral is needed to secure the additional loan amount I'm going to put the deed to what has been my refuge over the years up to help secure the loan.

I'll be interested to see who else rises to the challenge - but given the history of our church I know that I am not and will not be alone.

X posted to Transchristian

Of Shiftwork and Health...

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:20:58 GMT

The attached article from Wired Magazine is interesting reading - I know from my own experience that maintaining a healthy weight and getting enough rest on a rotating shift job is very hard to do - particularly if you also want to have what most people refer to as a "life". The sad fact is that most people that don't do shift work haven't a clue about the effect on the lives of those of us who do. Link below

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/03/nightshift.html

Still no power...

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 03:14:54 GMT

Hard as it may seem to believe there are still large areas in southern Missouri without power since the big ice storm now almost 2 weeks ago. That some of these areas are among the poorest in the state just adds to the misery as local electric cooperatives struggle to rebuild their networks nearly from scratch. Link to a story below..

http://www.kmov.com/topstories/stories/kmov-stlouis-090208-missouri-ice-storm.30c07c1b.html

If You Have Power...

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:06:50 GMT

And you are anywhere that was touched by this weeks winter storm count yourself very fortunate indeed. Also if you are so inclined say a prayer for those who aren't as lucky - if the news reports are right some of them will be without power until mid February. Check the news article in the link for a view of just how widespread the problem is.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090129/ap_on_re_us/winter_storm

Digging Out...

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:58:14 GMT

It had to happen eventually - after what has so far been a mild winter we got hit with a major winter storm over the last two days. Locally we got about 8" of snow - light powdery stuff that drifts with the least bit of wind. But I'll take that over what folks south of the Metropolitan St. Louis area got - a major ice storm that has left many without power. According to one coworker they had 6 to 8" of mixed sleet and freezing rain when he left for work mid day yesterday. It really wasn't any surprise when almost half of the midnight shift crew called in and took emergency leave. When I got home about midnight last night I had to shovel my way from the garage to the house just to get in. Add in the rest of the walks this morning and I've had my fill of winter. That white stuff may be pretty to look at but having to drive and work in it is a major pain. Even so I'm counting myself lucky - I've got power and the streets are more or less passable. To get a sense of just how bad it is further south hit the link below -

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090128/ap_on_re_us/winter_storm

http://www.kmov.com/topstories/stories/090118-stlouis-missouri-weather-snow-coverage.f8a09ca.html

Edit to add links to news articles.

Educating the Public about Transgender...

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 20:03:10 GMT

I believe that I have written here before about some of the outreach work we do at Metropolitan Community Church of Greater Saint Louis around educating the public about LGBT issues and life. Today was a rare opportunity for me to do a presentation about transgender to a group in the medical field. It was also the first time I have done so solo - usually Rev. Sue Yarber and I give these talks jointly but this time she had another commitment and rather than delay again we decided that I would do it solo.

It was a very interesting morning. The group that I was presenting to was made up mostly of nurses who do hospice care for the terminally ill and their office/admin staff(about 20 to 25 people). The situation that they had run into was that they had been called to care for a trans person and the resulting confusion in how to best approach dealing with the person involved in a respectful and caring manner. The only limitation I had was that there was only a 30 to 45 minute time slot for me to present my material. So, I concentrated on my own story and how it relates to the experience of most trans folk. I also handed out a copy of a page from the net titled "How to respect a Transsexual Person" from http://www.trans-health.com/kara/respect.html as this is one of the better pieces I've seen on the subject. That it also covers basic terminology was a bonus.

It was an interesting time - after a short presentation on my own story we moved on to some of the basics about how a person comes to be transsexual in the first place after which I opened it up for questions from the group. Most of the questions were no different than any other group would ask - what this tells me is that even in the medical community there is a need for basic education in dealing with trans folk. Hopefully this is one group that will take away a lesson that will be of use to them down the road. And if it spares someone in our community from any additional pain in their last days then my time was well spent indeed. For to me the chance to ease someone else's journey makes the pain I have had dealing with being an MTF transwoman worthwhile.

x-posted to Transgender.

A Perspective on Poverty...

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:28:50 GMT

A close friend sent me this as an email. And if you really think about it the boy in the story is right. Because we spend our lives pursuing the "Good things in Life" or the "Luxuries" we often lose sight of what really matters - and how simple our needs are. Think about it, being poor is as much a state of mind as a physical fact. Look around you, each day presents many moments of beauty if we have the wit and awareness to enjoy them.

Perspective

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the
trip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.

'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

The son answered:

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

'Life is too short and friends are too few.'

Deja Vu all over again...

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:56:07 GMT

It has gotten to be a regular scenario at work the last couple of years - we lose another body in operations and get handed another new hire that must be trained from scratch in how the plant works. Not everyone has the temperament to handle a job that could be likened to playing chess in three dimensions - what we have is called an interactive plant where any change made in one area has a ripple effect throughout the process. The quality we most prize in a new hire is called situational awareness - the ability to keep a picture of the entire process in mind while dealing with each individual part of it as needed.

I got to thinking about this today as I again gained a "shadow" - a trainee who will stick with me for a full month training rotation on what we call the "wet side" of the plant. He is generally a decent individual - think a stereotypical country boy with some prior experience in wastewater in small town plants. He's a bit intimidated by the sheer size and scale of the plant and the computerized control system. He's never worked or played with computers and regards them as being somewhere well to the left of a black art. Wheres my wizards hat and cloak when I really need them?

In some ways his lack of exposure to computers is a benefit - he doesn't have many bad habits to unlearn! But just explaining how the controls work to someone with no computer skills is going to be an interesting experience! So I'm starting him out on basic routines out "in the field" and hoping that once he has a good idea of where everything is that I can start tying all the parts together as a complete system. It's going to be an interesting month...

On having your cake and....

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 21:37:45 GMT

To "Have your cake and eat it too" is an old expression that in some ways means that you want to have it all - without compromise. For the last couple of weeks I have been playing with a Linux distribution optimized for the ASUS EeePC - my 1000H came with Windows XP and I want to keep that on the internal hard drive but be able to boot the fully installed version of Eeebuntu with out having to take the risk of setting up a dual boot arrangement. Putting it on a USB connected portable hard drive seemed to be the answer except for one problem - the installer refused to recognize the portable drive in order to install to it! Putting it on a USB drive as a form of a "Live CD" with what is called a "persistence" file to retain settings and such was possible but not satisfactory. The answer turned out to be surprisingly simple when I finally got to it. When I originally got the EeePC last fall it came with a small (80 GB) hard drive that I immediately changed out for a larger one. Since I had not been able to get Eeebuntu to install to a USB drive, I decided to change the hard drive back from the one with XP and just play with it for a few days. This morning it was time to put the drive with XP on it back - and I did so. After I put the drive with Eeebuntu on it back in its external enclosure I decided that since the EeePC allows for booting from USB devices that I would try it and see what happened. Turned the EeePC on and held down the ESC key and the alternate boot menu came up - selected the USB drive - pressed enter and held my breath. Up came the GRUB boot loader then Eeebuntu booted to the full desktop and appears to run normally if a tad bit slower than if it was on the internal hard drive. I can live with that! Who says you can't have it all?

More on Windows 7...

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:04:43 GMT

When I last posted I was in the middle of downloading the Beta release of Windows 7. Wonder of wonders the download finished successfully and I've swapped out the hard drive on my HP laptop and loaded it there on. I must say that for a Beta software release that there has been a surprising lack of problems/bugs. In some ways it looks and preforms like Vista should have from the start - it is fast and two of the big problems with Vista - User Account Control and copying/moving large files have been fixed. I'm also getting to play with the upcoming Internet Explorer 8 and Media Player 12 - so far so good with both. Some more playing with this O/S is in order as it looks like it will be a winner. If you want to try it the link below will take you to a Microsoft page with the instructions for downloading and installing it. It will be good until Jan. 24 and the Beta itself will stop working in August - hopefully after the full release version is out.

http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windows-7/beta-download.aspx

Of Windows 7 and a Great Navigator....

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 00:11:16 GMT

In some ways it has been a quiet week in River City - but it has had its moments. For a start, I'm on midnight shift and so am not at what one would call my best. So naturally Microsoft has chosen this time to release a Beta of its new operating system - Windows 7 - and tech junkie that I am, I could not resist the temptation to try download it for a trial run. And so as it is said there by hangs a tale. Yesterday, I gave it three tries and did not get a complete download - but with some work today I finally got an (I hope!) valid product key and a download link that so far has not been terminated prematurely. In order to get it to work I had to use Internet Explorer 7 rather than my prefered Firefox and download an ActiveX controller to manage the download . So far I have gotten about 500 MB of what should be a 2.4GB download. With any luck the download will complete before I leave for work and I'll give it a trial run on an HP laptop that has the necessary specs to run such a high powered operating system.

Then there is the tale of our plant's new "Great Navigator" - due to a massive fire at a recycling facility that closed the route that he usually uses to get to the plant he got a little confused. Mind you, since he has only worked at the plant for 23+ years, a reasonable person would think that in that time he would have learned at least ONE alternate way to get to work. But such was not the case as he ended up lost miles from the plant in the south west part of St. Louis county and had to call for directions to get to work. That cell phone call to the plant was a classic and he had to be guided step by step in getting turned around and headed to work. He has been the subject of much humour in the last couple of days and it will be a while until he lives that mistake down! Sometimes, habit can let you run on "auto pilot" and get somewhere without thinking about it - but when things go wrong it can be interesting!

Oh well! It is time to get something to eat and a nap before heading to work!

Some Frugal thoughts for the New Year

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:27:09 GMT

I long ago quit trying to make, much less keep, New Years resolutions. Still, the period around New Years day is a good time to sit back and think about things in life that need to be done in order to be able to retire and move on with my life.

The first of these is debt reduction. One major change here is to go to a cash only plan where day to day expenses are concerned. Anything that isn't a real emergency will be done only if there is cash on hand to pay for it. If a credit card must be used in an emergency it should be paid off as soon as possible. This goes hand in hand with paying off existing balances where possible - some bad luck and poor decision making in past years means that there are some substantial balances to pay down here. Still, my goal for the year is to have one of them paid off by this time next year. If so the "snowball" effect should make paying the others off easier. It is doable - but only if I don't take on any major work on the house. So if things work out and the back stairs can be patched up a bit more the money saved will go to debt reduction instead.

Then there is the matter of general household expenses. One area, energy costs, can be trimmed quite a bit by being careful to set the thermostat at 60 degrees when I'm sleeping or at work - when I'm up and around I still set it to 66 to 68 degrees during winter. During the summer the A/C doesn't get used until the heat and humidity make sleeping in daytime difficult when I'm on midnight shift. Another idea is to line dry laundry where possible and only run the dryer for full loads. During the winter the warm air from the clothes dryer ( electric ) is vented into the house as well. Lights have been converted over almost entirely to fluorescent types too.

In the area of personal expenses there is some room for cuts as well. For one, since I've gotten into the habit of reading the news on line in the morning my newspaper home delivery service will likely be canceled. Since my prepay cell phone is working out well for long distance calls as well as being my "on the road emergency" phone the land line long distance service can probably go as well. I'll keep the land line phone for local calls and internet service though. Neither of these are huge expenses but saving $30 to 40 a month on them is worthwhile.

Food and grocery wise, I've taken to a policy of only buying meat that is either on sale or marked down for quick sale - no problems so far and if I shop mid week the selection on marked down stuff is usually pretty good too. Given the schedule I'm on at least some frozen diners and/or convenience foods will stay in the budget but will only be bought when they are on sale. Having a big freezer is a blessing in that it allows for bulk purchases when prices are good.

Guess that's about all for now, break time is over and it's time to get back to work.